Today marks the day my husband Michael and I have been married for ten years. In some ways we can’t believe ten years has gone by and in other ways we can (: (: I have been trying to come up with the perfect way to say happy anniversary and then it dawned on me, why not write about what having a spouse like Michael these last ten years has meant. Way better than a hallmark card right? I can tell you with absolute certainty that the woman I was before I got married is not the woman I am today...and that’s a good thing! The way I view the sacrament of marriage has changed dramatically. After all these years I’ve come to realize marriage is way more than just a verbal and/or physical commitment. It’s a spiritual partnership and in this blog I’ll share the top reasons I’ve come to understand this to be true.
My Greatest Teacher
Over the years at different times, Michael and I have both used this term to describe each other to one another. Michael actually wrote this phrase “my greatest teacher” in my most recent birthday card. There are many reasons why people are attracted to one another beyond the physical. There’s an energetic soul connection. I felt this connection early on in our relationship and I came to realize over time what this would mean. As each other’s greatest teachers we challenge each other in many ways. Whether it be in spirited conversation, challenging each other’s personality traits and belief systems, or simply demonstrating more heart centered behaviors, in the end we learn and grow from each other everyday.
I’ve also found that in spiritual partnership, there are times that we indirectly mirror those aspects of one another that either need positive reinforcement or in many cases, those aspects that need recognition and healing. To name a few I can say with complete honesty that with Michael as my greatest teacher I’ve learned to always ask more questions and exercise my own level of discernment about things, I’m less selfish, more compassionate and more intimately connected to nature and all living things. I’m even getting better at putting my dishes in the dishwasher right after I use them (it’s a work in progress)!
A Safe Space to Heal
In our journey together thus far, I’d say the idea that a spiritual partnership will allow for a safe space to heal is one of the most powerful and important aspects of our marriage. Entering into any committed relationship means that we bring ALL aspects of ourselves whether we choose to acknowledge this fully or not. Other terms used to describe this would be the “skeletons in our closet” or our “baggage”. There was a significant period of time where I underwent a long road of recovery from fear-driven acute anxiety after opening up about some deep-seated personal truths and conditioned beliefs that I had kept to myself my whole life.
It was during this time that Michael made the decision that it wasn’t about him and was able to hold an unconditionally loving space when I needed it most despite the fear and hurt he was feeling. That is what a spiritual partner does and in my opinion is one of the most powerful demonstrations of love that there is. This experience transformed my life in so many ways and there are not enough words to express my gratitude.
Becoming the Highest and Best Version of Myself
The cornerstone in any spiritual partnership is supporting and encouraging one another to become the highest and best version of him or her self. In my opinion it’s a big part of what our life journey is all about. The highest and best version means that we are given the opportunity to demonstrate our true being, our soul self. In my experience for this to be fully possible we must first go through periods of healing, learning and growth as I mentioned previously. Once this process begins, we become more authentic, less driven by fear and more driven by love. Following our passions and discovering our purpose becomes the platform through which we can demonstrate our highest and best self.
Michael and I have always given each other the space and freedom to explore these areas. We support and encourage each other every step of the way. There have always been moments of doubt and struggle but one thing we’ve become good at is recognizing when the other person needs that “pep talk” of love and encouragement. I’ve needed many over the years and they’ve been and continue to be invaluable.
In closing I’ll end with a quote I’ve always loved - “When I tell you I love you I don’t say it out of habit. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me”.
Happy 10th Anniversary xxooxxoo